Dear Harry the Spare

You and Will were such cute kids, and of course the world followed your every milestone.

Most of the rest of us likely have no idea what it is like to be you, but I’d like to mention a few things I’ve observed, particularly in the past few years.

You are a spoiled ultra-rich brat who suffers not from media persecution, or from familial stresses. You are quite simply the result of piss-poor parenting.

Do you have any concept at all of the privileged life you were born into and that you still freely enjoy?

Sure, it came with a few glitches, but it seems to me that literally thousands of your predecessors, spare Princes and Princesses all, managed to live their lives without appearing to the world as a spoiled teenager who’s had his cell phone privileges revoked.

Some of the rest of the world doesn’t have enough food to eat, or a roof over their head. Some of the rest of the world descend into dark and scary caves and do manual labor for hours each day to provide food and shelter for their families.

Most of the rest of the world, quite frankly, doesn’t even have a pot in which to piss, but from birth you have had to do absolutely nothing whatsoever except draw a breath in order to enjoy riches that most of the rest of the world can’t even imagine.

You need to follow the example of your Uncle David and his paramour and quietly vanish to some secluded place where you can enjoy your wealth in relative peace and stop appearing as a simpering “poor little me” who had his sucker stolen.

You quite publicly rejected the traditional family duties that were your obligation from birth, and escaped to America, still far wealthier than 99% of the world, and yet you seem to still be pissed off that you were a spare, that your lot in life was somehow a terrible one that no one should have to endure.

Poor pitiful Harry. You still have much growing up to do, but I doubt it will happen. Your kind simply doesn’t understand that the very reason you are hounded by the media is because you were born special. That you don’t want anything to do with your birthright is your business, however you have examples in history of how to gracefully withdraw and live in relative peace. Perhaps you should study the history of your widespread family for clues on how all the other spares handled themselves.

By Jim Richardson

A cranky moderate gay democrat making his way through his sixth decade on earth.

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